Do you often wonder why you can’t keep your friendships for long?
Many of us are not naturally built to keep friends, and that is not necessarily a bad thing. However, building a long-lasting relationship is something that can be learnt if you are committed to it.
Friends make our days worthwhile, and your circle of friends from high school will not be with you forever. This is why it is important to make a conscious effort towards making a lasting friendship.
Read Also: How to Build a Strong Relationship in 10+ Simple Ways
There are a few things that may hinder the progress to a long-lasting friendship, such as having unrealistic expectations of your friends. Your friend could be going through some personal challenges, which may make them less available to you. A good friend will try to understand things from the other’s perspective before jumping to an unreasonable conclusion that could lead to the end of the friendship.
Below are 10 simple things you can do to build long-lasting friendships.
1. Be Forgiving: One important quality you must have to keep your friendships is a forgiving heart. People will offend us, but not everything must get to you. Although you may be disappointed by your friend’s behavior, as a good friend, you should find a good time to talk to them about it and handle such moments with grace. They may not even realise how offended you are but you can give them enough time to make amends. This does not mean you should constantly allow yourself to be taken for granted. It just means doing all you can to avoid holding on to grudges, choosing peace over constant quarrel while still knowing where to draw the line to protect your emotional well-being.
2. Make Time for Your Friends: What is friendship without having time for one another? Without the time and energy, the oil that keeps the fire of friendship burning will run dry. To maintain a long-lasting friendship, you must make a deliberate effort to hang out with your friends occasionally. Be it during school breaks or after school hours. Even if you are working and your job is a demanding one, you can plan towards a few weekends to spend quality time with your friends.
3. Welcome Change: You must know that change is constant, and even the most trusted friend can become the most unreliable. But change does not have to be a bad thing. The way you thought and did your thing as a child will be different when you become an adult. That is growth. And your friends will grow too. Their priorities might slightly shift. Do not fight it. Rather, welcome these changes and learn to adapt. This will make it easy for you nurture and maintain the now-matured friendship.
4. Show Kindness and Affection: Having a circle of friends that shows kindness and affection to each other is the true goal of friendship. It always feels good to know that you have someone who has your back. Showing kindness can be in various forms and it does not have to be expensive. A nice compliment on their outfit can set their mood right for the rest of the day. Also, showing affection does not have to be physical. When you friend is down, a simple word of encouragement to get them back on track could be worth more than a brand new car.
5. Practice Active Listening: When it is their turn to give an opinion on a matter, give your full attention like it counts. YListen actively! You don’t want to be doing all the talking in your conversations. A good way to nurture and keep a long-lasting friendship is to make your friend feel seen and valued as well.
6. Show You Care: If your friend is having a rough time and you happen to know about it, don’t pretend like no one told you about it. A good friend will reach out. How you stood by your friends in their low times often determine if they can keep you as friend or it’s time to part ways. Remember, you are not trying to impress anyone, you just have to genuinely show that you care. When they are rejoicing, celebrate and value them. And when things seems like they are running out of luck, be their strenght. Your friends will likely return the same energy when you are in need subsequently leading to good and lasting friendships.
7. Be Vulnerable: When your friends know that you don’t keep how you truly feel from them, you make them feel special. And in turn, they will also open up to you on things they will tell no one else. The fact that you are vulnerable does not mean that you are overly depending on them. Being vulnerable just mean that you value them enough to see your real self. This deepens true connection and encourage long-lasting friendships.
8. Respect Them: Respect is a two-way thing, and what you want from others should not be too hard for you to give. If you want your friends to show you respect, you must also put in deliberate effort to apprecizte and respect their presense in your life as well. Respecting them includes managing what belongs to them properly and no where to draw the lines on your jokes about them.
9. Show Honesty: Most people don’t like it when they can not trust you with little things. To keep your friends for long, you must build a habit of being dependable and honest. If you promise to be at your friend’s place at 10 am, don’t come crawling in at 2 pm thinking they will not get angry. To most, that is an annoying behavior and only a few can endure for long. Being honest also mean that no matter how the truth may hurt, your friends should be able to count on your opinion. This makes bonds stronger and friendships long-lasting.
10. Be Emotionally Intelligent: Some of us can not read the room; they often have to spell things out for you before you have an idea of what is going on. That is not a good characteristic to have, even if you are the most important person in the group. As a good friend, having emotional intelligence means that you can tell when your friend’s mood changes and know how to react accordingly. It is important to build empathy and know when to deeply connect in demanding situations. Know when to talk, and know when it is your turn to keep quite and listen.
